Thrifty Times

Is it possible to be frugal and still have the wedding of your dreams?  You bet!  Establish a budget, set priorities and be willing to work hard.  You can have a $20,000 wedding for $10,000 if you are willing to "earn" (save) $10,000! But make no mistake, that's quite a few man-hours invested! Yet, if you have time and are short on cash, why not work a little to get the wedding of your dreams?

The first step is to make a purchase that will pay off hundreds, possibly thousands, for every dollar spent. "Bridal Bargains" by Denise and Alan Fields proved its weight in gold for my daughter's wedding and it can be bought at Amazon.com for under $10.  After overspending on their own wedding, the Fields' did some intense research and came up with ways to save thousands of dollars in every way imaginable - from the dress to the cake, from the reception to the flowers.{sidebar id=9}

In the meantime, here are a few tips to get you started:

1)  The date.  Choose this day wisely.  Valentine's Day, as well as spring and summer seasons, are the most popular wedding dates.  This means they are also the most expensive times to get married.  To save money on a reception hall or caterer, pick an out-of-season date.  Even the day of the week matters - my daughter saved money by getting married on a Friday night rather than on a Saturday.

2)  Invitations.  There are make-your-own invitation kits with instructions and materials or you can design your own invitations and then take them to a printer to copy.  Doing it yourself allows savings that can then be spent on personal touches and elegant materials which in turn gives the invitations a professional and expensive look.

3)  The dress.  Did you know there are hundreds of wedding dresses on Ebay on any given day?  My daughter found the perfect dress - a designer gown that originally cost several thousand dollars - and she paid $200 for it.  (Some dresses have never even been worn!)  In our case, a minor alteration was needed, which was done by the maid-of-honor's mother for free.  We were ecstatic with the purchase.

Also try vintage shops.  I know of someone who wanted the antique, yellowed touch and bought a beautiful dress for $100.  After sending it to the cleaners, to her dismay, it came out as white as snow!  (It was still a stunning dress.)

If you're up to shopping in a crowd, the bridal boutiques have a bargain day where dresses can be purchased for a few hundred dollars.

4)  The flowers.  In their book, "Bridal Bargains", the Fields' list several online sources of flowers that can be bought at a fraction of the cost of a florist.  We had each bridesmaid wrap her own bouquet the night before the wedding.  We wanted something a little more detailed for the bride, so we chose a florist for her bouquet.  Flowers for the centerpieces at the reception hall were also bought online.  Vases, bowls,marbles, stones and any number of craft materials can be found at discount and dollar stores.

5) Don't forget a back-up plan - expect the unexpected.  We had hired a reasonably priced professional photographer, not willing to trust the memories of a lifetime to the untrained eye.  However, right before the wedding, the photographer had to cancel because of a broken arm and we couldn't find another reasonably priced one at that late date.  Instead of paying a ridiculous price we recruited several friends and family to take lots of pictures, both posed and candid, and we really did get some beautiful pictures for practically nothing.

The possibilities are endless for saving money on a wedding when you discover the strengths of family and friends.  Do you know anyone who is a master with make-up and hair?  What about amateur photographers, musicians or bakers?  If they are not professionals, friends may be willing to provide services at far below the going rates.  It's up to you to decide on the priorities - where you can cut costs or not take any chances.

My daughter's flowers, dress and invitations.

My 4 children are now married or in college, but it was not long ago we had the annual proms to contend with. I was always shocked at how extravagant some families would be on expenses. Dr. Pankow of North Dakota State University estimated that in 2004 couples spent an average of $509 on prom. While that was down from 2002 totals it still sounds very expensive for a single evening.

Expenses can vary considerably depending on the addition of limos, flowers, dinner, hair and makeup, expensive dresses or tux rentals, photographer, even tanning! One of my daughter's friends spent over $300 just for her dress last year.

Dr. Pankow has these suggestions for reigning in the costs of Prom:

• Plan Ahead
• Sit down with child and parent and decide on a reasonable amount to spend
• Discuss overall costs and who pays for what items
• Carpool with other couples and split the cost of gasoline
• Borrow a dress, rent one from a formal wear store or buy from a consignment clothing shop
• Do your own hair and makeup or save money with an appointment at a local cosmetology school instead of an expensive salon
• Utilize accessories you already have or barrow some from a friend or relative
• Hold a backyard barbecue with friends instead of dining out
• Have a friend or family member take photos to capture the memory rather than paying for expensive portraits

My daughter Abby (now a freshman in college) has the following suggestions

• Go for quality, not new. Look around and find quality dresses or jewelry, even shoes that you can borrow or obtain used.
• Don't be afraid to look hard for a bargain. I once found a beautiful dress for $70. It was one size too big so it cost me $20 to get tailored, but I had a dress worth more than twice the purchase price.
• Have a make-up and hair pre-prom party. Remember to invite friends who are excellent at doing hair and makeup. Even if they have recently graduated, many love to be involved and will donate their time and expertise. I had a few hairdos I knew how to do and would willingly help some girls who could not afford to get their hair done.
• Make a makeup appointment at the department stores at the mall. I was able to get my makeup done for free from the same technician two years in a row and she did not require me to purchase anything. Friends had appointments and were only required to buy one item. Since you will not be using much of your "fancy" makeup this is a wonderful service.
• Don't feel like you have to get everything at one store. Look around at several places for good matches that stay within your price range.
• Even if you don't love your mom's fashion, listen to her insights on formal wear. She may have some of grandmother's jewelry or other items that may really work, so give her a chance.
• Don't wait until last minute when all the bargains are gone. Start early to be able to buy something in your price range. It may be frustrating to come across a beautiful dress that is out of your price range. But with time, you will find the right dress at the right price.
  Stay away from expensive limos. Instead go together with friends. Carpool or even get a van or something less expensive if you will be traveling far and there is limited parking.
• My friends and others got together at a pretty town park to take pictures. All the parents came and took pictures then our groups left together from the park. This included the parents and saved money on photographers.

With a little planning and persistence you should be able to have a wonderful time at your school prom without spending a fortune. Remember the memories will not be about how much you spent, but about how much fun you had.